Today, I've finally decided to stop tolerating a friend's madness over something that is more than bad and less than evil.
I've always been tolerant towards my friends. I even used to be a sugar-coat(er) trying to pamper them with nice words or the warmest sympathy I can. But having guy friends around for a long time and being in their seemingly nonchalant but dearly concerned company, I've come to realize how important honesty is especially in times when everyone is trying to be empathetic.
I've actually done this once with a really really close friend. We were always on the same flight when it comes to love but after what happened to me 2 years ago (and this is yet another story), I finally decided to tell her things I should've told her earlier...that there will always be people whom we would love, with a love we've never known we could give, who can't love us in return. I felt I was the one who could give such advice because I know exactly how she felt because I've been there before and she knew that.
After telling her those things, I felt really burdened about how she might react but somehow happy to have had the courage to tell her things others are too scared to say. I just wanted her to understand that there are really things we can't get and the more we hope for it, the more it scurries away from us.
That was 2 years ago and now I am in this situation again where I want my friend to be happy but I know that what's going on is wrong. I've told her before about how I feel about all those things happening but I always end up feeling conflicted between her happiness and what's wrong and what's right.
I love her and I want her to be happy. For me, she is a really good person, worthy of respect and admiration. But certain unlikely things sometimes get even the best of us.
Honestly, I am getting tired of scolding her and telling her to do what's right because she doesn't listen. And when she cries, my heart just shrinks and I can only say sorry. Who am I really to tell her what she should do with her life. But as a friend, I can't help it. No matter how I try to understand her situation and how she feels I always feel bad knowing that.
But from now on, I promise to stay true to my morals and the values that I embrace no matter how difficult it is.
Truthfully, it's tiresome trying to help people who don't help themselves. I just hope that someday, things will be in their "rightful" places and balance be restored (for whatever that means).
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
enROLLment
06/03/2013 02:30:51 PM
YES! I am now a legitimate student, again. Yesterday at 2:30 p.m., my Form 5 finally came out and I am now officially a gradute student.
It still feels weird though because I always feel like a fresh graduate from UP. Well, I guess, it's time to move since it's been more than a year now. haha!
My enrollement yesterday was as amusingly peculiar as a déjà vu.
Me. UP. Form 5. Lines. Long lines.
I felt like being an undergrad student again -- queuing, filling out forms, holding onto numbers waiting to be called, enlisting subjects -- although this time, I am now under the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy.
MA in Psychology. I still feel awkwardly weird about this but I am sure that this is something I want to do.
Anyway, while I was waiting in line, I became friends with another MA student. She was seated in front of me and I saw her clutching this white folder with some orange print in it. I then recognized it as the folder given to us during the pre-employment process. So, I tried talking to her by asking her if she's working in TR as well. Turns out, she is and we are actually batchmates (batch '07) and also worked in TR at the same time. I am the worst when it comes to names but she was really nice and we chatted until out turn in the line. She finished BA Political Science and now she's taking up Master in International Studies (MIS). She had this bright smile and she nods to whatever I say with all the sincerity in the world. Too bad I don't know when we'll meet again but I was glad I was seated next to her during that one hour of waiting.
After I got my Form5a, I went to the department for pre-advising and again, while waiting for my turn, I tried talking to the person next to me. I remember her name because we met several times that day. haha. Kat is already in her last year and just needed to finish her master's thesis to finally graduate. I was so amazed at her because th thing I am about to embark has already been her path and now she was almost about to finish it. But what was more interesting in meeting Kat were the things she taught me about taking up the MA program in Psychology. When I asked her about the subjects she enlisted, she told me she had to take three more subjects that are needed to be able to qualify for the board exams. I was confused because I thought only Ph.D. graduates could take the boards. But as she explained, it turns out that as long as you've taken the required subjects by the PRC, you can now take the boards for both psychologists and psychometricians. WOW. Hearing this from her suddenly lit up the 8-year allowance I gave myself to be able to practice. She told me other interesting stuff too about our adviser (we have the same adviser since we are both pusuing Clinical Psych), about other Psych professors and the subjects I have to take. I was so lucky to have met her especially during a time like this when I am still crawling up to the expectations and know-how of a graduate student.
I also met another graduate student who is also a TR employee. Sadly, we are focusing on different fields as her concentration is Developmental Psych. She was very kind though and now we even greet each other in the office. hehe :)
I also saw other people I know of who made the enrollment more interesting and even nostalgic, if I may. I met my Maskom friend, Jake who is also taking up his Masters in CSSP, while he was absent-mindedly seated on the floor along the corridor. Gah. I miss Masscom. Anyway, I also saw other TR employees there and an old friend back in UPLB. She was my dorm mate and coursemate. If I'm no mistaken her name is spelled "Eileen". She's a very pretty girl and always speaks with confidence. I haven't seen her for almost 4 years and meeting her in Diliman made me reminisce all the freshman days.
So there, my thoughts are probably so jumbled up in this post but please bear with me. I am still trying to calm myself down from all the adrenaline and tension I am feeling now that it's just a day away before classes start.
I hope this is going to be an excellent academic year for me. This may sound so cliche but I promise to be a better student than I was during my undergrad years.
Cheers to this and more!
AJA! Fighting! :D
YES! I am now a legitimate student, again. Yesterday at 2:30 p.m., my Form 5 finally came out and I am now officially a gradute student.
It still feels weird though because I always feel like a fresh graduate from UP. Well, I guess, it's time to move since it's been more than a year now. haha!
My enrollement yesterday was as amusingly peculiar as a déjà vu.
Me. UP. Form 5. Lines. Long lines.
I felt like being an undergrad student again -- queuing, filling out forms, holding onto numbers waiting to be called, enlisting subjects -- although this time, I am now under the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy.
MA in Psychology. I still feel awkwardly weird about this but I am sure that this is something I want to do.
Anyway, while I was waiting in line, I became friends with another MA student. She was seated in front of me and I saw her clutching this white folder with some orange print in it. I then recognized it as the folder given to us during the pre-employment process. So, I tried talking to her by asking her if she's working in TR as well. Turns out, she is and we are actually batchmates (batch '07) and also worked in TR at the same time. I am the worst when it comes to names but she was really nice and we chatted until out turn in the line. She finished BA Political Science and now she's taking up Master in International Studies (MIS). She had this bright smile and she nods to whatever I say with all the sincerity in the world. Too bad I don't know when we'll meet again but I was glad I was seated next to her during that one hour of waiting.
After I got my Form5a, I went to the department for pre-advising and again, while waiting for my turn, I tried talking to the person next to me. I remember her name because we met several times that day. haha. Kat is already in her last year and just needed to finish her master's thesis to finally graduate. I was so amazed at her because th thing I am about to embark has already been her path and now she was almost about to finish it. But what was more interesting in meeting Kat were the things she taught me about taking up the MA program in Psychology. When I asked her about the subjects she enlisted, she told me she had to take three more subjects that are needed to be able to qualify for the board exams. I was confused because I thought only Ph.D. graduates could take the boards. But as she explained, it turns out that as long as you've taken the required subjects by the PRC, you can now take the boards for both psychologists and psychometricians. WOW. Hearing this from her suddenly lit up the 8-year allowance I gave myself to be able to practice. She told me other interesting stuff too about our adviser (we have the same adviser since we are both pusuing Clinical Psych), about other Psych professors and the subjects I have to take. I was so lucky to have met her especially during a time like this when I am still crawling up to the expectations and know-how of a graduate student.
I also met another graduate student who is also a TR employee. Sadly, we are focusing on different fields as her concentration is Developmental Psych. She was very kind though and now we even greet each other in the office. hehe :)
I also saw other people I know of who made the enrollment more interesting and even nostalgic, if I may. I met my Maskom friend, Jake who is also taking up his Masters in CSSP, while he was absent-mindedly seated on the floor along the corridor. Gah. I miss Masscom. Anyway, I also saw other TR employees there and an old friend back in UPLB. She was my dorm mate and coursemate. If I'm no mistaken her name is spelled "Eileen". She's a very pretty girl and always speaks with confidence. I haven't seen her for almost 4 years and meeting her in Diliman made me reminisce all the freshman days.
So there, my thoughts are probably so jumbled up in this post but please bear with me. I am still trying to calm myself down from all the adrenaline and tension I am feeling now that it's just a day away before classes start.
I hope this is going to be an excellent academic year for me. This may sound so cliche but I promise to be a better student than I was during my undergrad years.
Cheers to this and more!
AJA! Fighting! :D
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