Today, I've finally decided to stop tolerating a friend's madness over something that is more than bad and less than evil.
I've always been tolerant towards my friends. I even used to be a sugar-coat(er) trying to pamper them with nice words or the warmest sympathy I can. But having guy friends around for a long time and being in their seemingly nonchalant but dearly concerned company, I've come to realize how important honesty is especially in times when everyone is trying to be empathetic.
I've actually done this once with a really really close friend. We were always on the same flight when it comes to love but after what happened to me 2 years ago (and this is yet another story), I finally decided to tell her things I should've told her earlier...that there will always be people whom we would love, with a love we've never known we could give, who can't love us in return. I felt I was the one who could give such advice because I know exactly how she felt because I've been there before and she knew that.
After telling her those things, I felt really burdened about how she might react but somehow happy to have had the courage to tell her things others are too scared to say. I just wanted her to understand that there are really things we can't get and the more we hope for it, the more it scurries away from us.
That was 2 years ago and now I am in this situation again where I want my friend to be happy but I know that what's going on is wrong. I've told her before about how I feel about all those things happening but I always end up feeling conflicted between her happiness and what's wrong and what's right.
I love her and I want her to be happy. For me, she is a really good person, worthy of respect and admiration. But certain unlikely things sometimes get even the best of us.
Honestly, I am getting tired of scolding her and telling her to do what's right because she doesn't listen. And when she cries, my heart just shrinks and I can only say sorry. Who am I really to tell her what she should do with her life. But as a friend, I can't help it. No matter how I try to understand her situation and how she feels I always feel bad knowing that.
But from now on, I promise to stay true to my morals and the values that I embrace no matter how difficult it is.
Truthfully, it's tiresome trying to help people who don't help themselves. I just hope that someday, things will be in their "rightful" places and balance be restored (for whatever that means).
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